Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Thoughts


Wake up. Why am I so fat? Go to sleep. Why did I eat so much today? Wake up. I am so huge. Got to sleep. Tomorrow I fast. That is how I get up and go to sleep every night. That is normal, right? Well, I don't know. Sometimes I wonder what people without eating disorders think about at those points. Is it all about food and weight? Are there no thoughts at all? Is it all about things they're excited about? What is it? Gosh, I wish I knew. Maybe one day I will. But for now I can only imagine. Is it rainbows and butterflies? Is it all about how to survive? Something tells me I'll never know. That I don't want to. My thoughts are safe. Not for my health but for security. Anybody have an answer? What is life like without these constant thoughts?

Stay Strong
xo Aria

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