Welcome to Our First Guest Blogger

Guys! We got our first guest blogger! That is so exciting! She's currently in recovery from an Eating Disorder  and is definitely an example of standing up and staying strong! I'm hoping to see much more of her stuff in the near future!

Stay Strong,
xo Aria

Ever Wonder What It's Like to Have an ED? (Possible TW for Purging)

It’s the scent of mint, fresh breath and clean teeth mixed with that familiar pungent odor of vomit. Do you want this? She asks herself in the mirror. Yes, of course you do. She glanced at her stomach, placing a hand over it like she was pregnant. If only it was that. She looked tired. Her face sunk like the last bit of mouthwash down her throat. It burned. I’ll be clean. It stung. It’ll help the bleeding and she reeled a bit until the pain went away.

Look at you, another voice told her. She knew who it was it was Ed again. She looked in the mirror, seeing her own reflection contort like circus glass. You don’t work hard enough. Raise your hand and do it better, with that her hand raised to her parted lips, chipped fingernail poised and ready. I can do better, she countered. I can be the best.

Her finger plunged the back of her throat, the taste of skin and blood beginning to bubble up, mixed with something else the rest of tonight’s dinner. Good, good! Ed cheered. You are stronger! She pushed and clawed her way deep inside her letting it all spill out into the sink until her knees gave way and she fell to the floor. Choking, the room spun around her.

You’re beautiful now, Ed cooed but she couldn’t breathe. Her heart raced as it pounded in her ears. It was hard to keep focus. I can’t, she thought. You can, Ed countered. I can’t….I.

Yes, for always, Ed said.

Bulimia, Anorexia, Restriction, Diet-compulsion, EDNOS, etc, are ALL serious eating disorders. If left untreated will result in death. You are worth so much more than your eating disorder. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder or even thinking about starting an eating disorder. Please get help.

The National Eating Disorder Association has many helpful and supportive features like hotlines and chatrooms. Please reach out:https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-support

Guest Bloggers?

Hey again! Running a blog is a lot of work. ANybody out there want to guest blog for me? If you do, contact me at standupstaystrong@gmail.com

Stay Strong,
xo Aria

Happiness

When something scares us, we run. When someone tries to hurt us, we scream. When our rights are being taken, we fight back. But what about when we do those things to ourselves? When you are your own worst enemy. When your thoughts are what scare you most of all. When your actions are what cause you pain. How do you fight back against yourself? How do you gather all your strength and energy and pour it into changing how you live? Most importantly, how do you know if you can? What makes you so special that you deserve to be happier than somebody else? I think about these questions often. Why do I deserve to recover? Too be honest I'm not so sure. Maybe I do , maybe I don't. The foundation of the country is "life, liberty, and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS". You are not guaranteed to happy, but you do have the right to fight to be happy. If everybody has that right, then everybody has the right to be happy. Every. Single. Person. So really I guess the question should be; what makes me so special that I don't deserve to be happy? Why am I different from any person that enjoys their life? That seems almost as selfish as believing you deserve to be happier than someone else. In that case, where being happy is just as selfish as being sad, wouldn't happy be the better choice?

Hi Guys!

Sorry about the lack of posts for a year and then the heavier new ones. There's just been a lot of struggling going on. But I'm back! Yes the posts may may have different feel but that doesn't mean I'm different. I know we all can recover and that we all deserve to be happy. I believe in you and remember you deserve to reocver and are never alone!

Stay Strong
xo Aria

What People Need to Realize

What people need to realize that you cannot fail at an eating disorder. Just because someone lost more weight, or purges more times per day, does not make their struggle greater than yours. Just different. The only way to “succeed” with an eating disorder is to take it with you to your grave, I don’t see that as success. Do you? If you do then obviously your struggle is great. Everyone who has an eating disorder deserves help and support. They do not discriminate, I hate hearing people say that they aren’t sick enough to warrant attention. An eating disorder is a mental illness not a diet gone wrong. You can beat this. You deserve to live an eating disorder free life. There is no failure in having an eating disorder, it isn’t possible.

Mirrors

Mirrors. Nothing more than a piece of reflective glass on a wall, right? Maybe to some to people. To me a mirror is so much more. A mirror is a way to judge yourself, see what others see when they look at you, critique everything about yourself. I would assume some people look in mirrors and see everything they love about themselves. I on the other hand, enter a whole other world. In this world, nothing about your body is ok, nothing about you is acceptable. You stare at yourself for hours on end hoping to find something you can accept. You never can, and never will. In this world you live in the mirror and you don't win. It's most certainly a dictatorship. But not one where you revolt. Eventually it breaks you and end up shaking and crying and not wanting anybody to see you. Except you can't hide from their world or they might try to your world from you. Your world of mirrors and numbers. Of self-hatred and judgment. One you long to leave but cannot bare to lose. A world where you are constantly hungry and the only thing acceptable is an empty stomach. This world may seem light-years away. But actually it's right in your very house. Down the hall in the bathroom or a bedroom. You just have to stare into that mirror and you can find the world. If you're lucky the world won't appear. Some of us live in it all the time. We live in your world but also in ours. Our world can be deadly but when you think about it so is the real one. You all spend your time blaming society for the fact that our world exists, meanwhile we get sucked further and further in. Some of us will come out and never go back in, others will be trapped forever, and a few will go in and out for years. All it takes is waking up and looking that mirror and realizing you aren't good enough and you probably never will be.