Bracelets

I'm not talking about normal bracelets. I am talking about hospital bracelets. Ones from the ER and hospital wards and residential treatment centers. The bracelets with numbers and codes on them. The ones that you get defined by. I have a collection of these. Around 15 or so actually. Some because I was admitted, others because I ripped them off. Every time I get a new one, it only confirms one thing. I am a number, an eating disorder, another "messed up" teenager. When I point this out I end up upsetting people who care about me but it's true. I've been reduced to a number so many times that I am not even sure I am a person anymore. Between bracelets and scars and pounds.... I am a number. The first bracelet confirmed that. And the diagnosis with it confirmed the rest of the numbers after. When I go to the ER I keep the bracelet on for hours after discharge. It feels right. Normal. My wrists feel empty and strange without the laminated paper and plastic. I have become those numbers printed on the bracelets or encoded within them. They define me. I am a number.

How do the numbers make you feel?

Stay Strong
xo Aria