When You Lose The High

Ask any eating disordered person (or person in general) and they will tell you that losing weight gives you a sense of euphoria. But what happens when you have just been up and down so many times and losing weight no longer does that? Well if you're me... You pretend it's still there. Or think that if you lose more it'll come back. But it doesn't. For me I've lost the high. When my weight drops I lose out on things that I love and get the dreaded " here we go again " feeling. I know longer jump up and down and feel so proud of myself. Losing weight feels almost as bad as gaining weight. The difference? One way I know I'm thin and miserable; the other fat and miserable. I'd prefer the first. Or neither. But that's not an option. So, yes the high will go away. And that will be the most confusing day of your life. For me that's today. For you maybe it won't be for years or maybe it was before me. I don't know. I just know that without the wonderful feeling, I have to pretend to get it. And it's just not the same. I need to find something else to give me that feeling. This will be an interesting week for sure. Lets see how it goes...

Stay Strong

xo Aria