Get Out

I want these thoughts out of my head. I don't want a fourth treatment stay. I want my senior year. But they won't leave. Meals come up and in they rush. Telling me how fat and awful I am. I don't want to feel like this anymore. But what do you think about if not about food and weight. I just want to have no thoughts. I want everything to slow down. I want a clear brain and a fresh start. But I can't. I'm already contaminated. The voices take over 3 or more times a day and I can't get rid of them. They die down when I'm on stage. When I'm being someone else. Because those people don't have eating disorders. There's no place for my crazy racing mind. I have to focus. But I can't focus all the time. How do I get rid of them during normal times? Like at school or when I'm with friends. I want them gone but they're here to stay. I have no control over them. Ugh

What gives you hope in times like this?

Stay Strong
xo Aria