The last few days I haven't been able to be more than ambivalent towards recovering. I hate my body and I'm not even at my goal weight. I'm eating a ridiculous amount of food. And I feel so drained emotionally. Recovery just seems so hard and so far out of reach. I just don't know if its worth it. But at the same time I want to be able to go out for ice cream or drink regular soda without a panic attack. And I want to like myself. I really do. Ugh. On top of all this I am debating whether or not to go to residential after Princeton. I can see where it would be beneficial but it would also entail putting a year off of college. So I'm all conflicted. Especially considering I don't even know if I want to recover. I don't see anything so great about it. What makes you want to recover?
Stay Strong
xo Aria
No comments:
Post a Comment