Now, this week has been one where things that didn't happen to me personally have greatly affected my outlook on life. More than I would have imagined. One of my very dear friends nearly died this week from a combination of drugs and alcohol. After knowing that she was alive and ok, I realized just how much the news of her almost passing bothered me. Not in a bad way, I wasn't angry with her or her decision. But just in how fragile life is. To see an almost 18 year old girl having to be on hospital watch and get her stomach pumped, really showed me that death really can show up to anybody's doorstep without a second thought and that miracles can happen at the same time. Knowing what was mixed, I know that she easily could have been dead and the world would have lost an incredible person. I do believe things happen for a reason so knowing that she was saved tells me that she is meant for something bigger. I hope she sees that too. However, this week somebody I don't personally know committed suicide. I happen to know about this occurrence because he belongs to another chapter of my youth group. I never realized that the death of somebody I never met could impact me. But it has,immensely. It truly brought back the feeling of not knowing when or how you will die. Whether it be in your own hands or the hands of others. I don't know if he woke that morning with the outright plan to kill himself or if he was just pushed too far throughout the day. Nobody will know. Those thoughts are gone with him. More than just knowing that people are killing others, but capable of hurting someone so much that they would kill themselves, disturbs me. The amount of pain we are willing to inflict on other human beings is possibly the scariest concept I can think of. This person's death has really put into perspective for me how words can affect others and how we do really need to watch out for the signs of being suicidal. Suicide is 100% preventable. We just need to be educated and take it seriously. HE very well could have been stopped and still be here with us today. RIP Evan.
For me this week is also one of being very proud. Today I can officially say I am six months free of self-harm. I honestly never thought I would get this far. Through relapse and struggles and anxiety...through life. I got through it without breaking my skin. For right now and hopefully forever I can say that Thanksgiving 2012 was the last day I broke my own skin. I could not be prouder of myself. I cannot begin to express my gratitude to everyone who helped me get this far. And I just really want everyone struggling with it to know that you can stop. It is possible to get through whatever it is you're fighting without hurting yourself.. I promise.
Suicide Warning Signs
- Appearing depressed or sad most of the time.
(Untreated depression is the number one cause for suicide.) - Talking or writing about death or suicide.
- Withdrawing from family and friends.
- Feeling hopeless.
- Feeling helpless.
- Feeling strong anger or rage.
- Feeling trapped -- like there is no way out of a situation.
- Experiencing dramatic mood changes.
- Abusing drugs or alcohol.
- Exhibiting a change in personality.
- Acting impulsively.
- Losing interest in most activities.
- Experiencing a change in sleeping habits.
- Experiencing a change in eating habits.
- Losing interest in most activities.
- Performing poorly at work or in school.
- Giving away prized possessions.
- Writing a will.
- Feeling excessive guilt or shame.
- Acting recklessly.
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Please do not hestitate to reach out for help if you need it. People will be happy to talk wiht you. I promise.
Stay Strong
xo Aria
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