Today is the Fourth of July. In America that's Independence Day. If I wanted I could go into some long winded speech about how we won our freedom and our fore fathers and yada yada yada. But that's not really my thing. So, instead I'm gonna compare today to how I'm feeling. Amongst the barbecues and fireworks are people just like me. Freaking out alone about the food in front of us, the people who will notice our bodies in one way or another, and whether or not we are free. I don't feel free, I feel trapped. Trapped in this body, in my head. In my own little circle of hell. Well if today is a day of freedom then I'm going to treat it as such. For the next 24 hours, I am eating disorder free. I'm not an anorexic. I'm Barbara. And for today I'm ok with that. I'm going to enjoy myself and be with my friends and take stupid pictures. I'm going to play with sparklers and eat s'mores. Today is Independence Day for America and me. I know that the thoughts aren't going to be gone and I'm going to be self conscience but for today I am just a normal teenager. That's it. I am free for 24 hours. Tomorrow I can freak out. Tomorrow I can look back and see if it was worth it. If putting my anxieties to the side was worth it. I'm hoping it is. If everyone is free, why shouldn't I be? Why can't I eat a burger and chips and take pictures and know I'm at least ok looking? Don't I deserve to be free like most others? I would say so. At least for today. Starting right now, I declare my independence. Not for forever. For today. So I can enjoy my friends being here. So I can take pictures and know they're cute. Happy Fourth of July America. And happy day of freedom to me.
Will you join me?
Stay Strong
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