I know I haven't blogged in a while, and I am sorry. My life has been so hectic. Totally not an excuse but whatever. Point is, a lot has happened.
Saturday night...I drank. For a few reasons; one being to escape and another because quite frankly everyone around me was drinking too. I had a great time at the party and being drunk but the after effects were not so great. It made me super suicidal and to be quite honest I still am a little. I feel so hopeless and just don't know how much longer I can fight. I have been relapsing so hard. I'm down so much...and food is becoming harder and harder. Recovery just seems so far away. The good news is that I am still here and am not going anywhere.
I did however get to start over this week as well. Specifically today. Today was the first day of my senior year. I was there. I didn't have a mental breakdown over going. I did it. And nobody asked me about last year.. I got to start over. And that feels so nice. Not gonna lie, I did get a couple comments on my weight. But they weren't what I expected. Actually they really threw me for a loop. Point being, I made it to being a senior, I turned in all my college info, I saw friends, and met new ones....I got a fresh start without leaving my school.
Go Lions Class of 2014!
Stay Strong
xo Aria
Hey! I relate to what you said about drinking and how it is fun but it ends up making you more depressed. Alcohol is a depressant actually so it's quite a common side effect but I think in those of us that struggle already with depression and other issues = alcohol gets dangerous. You can do this. Stay strong, keep hanging in there. You're NOT hopeless- there is hope. Wow, I sound like a greeting card... but it's true.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Lisa