You know those times when all you want is for someone to hug you and say that everything will be okay? What about when that need is never met? How does it make you feel?
For me, it's the worst feeling in the world when your feelings are not validated.
What about when you are so upset and the person you are with just yells at you through it? You can hardly hear yourself breathe because all you hear is how much you didn't do. And how other people have it worse. My favorite is when parents see you upset and only say "yeah because your life is just so hard". Just because other people have struggles, doesn't make mine or your's any less real or important.
Today, I hadn't planned on eating, at all. I did end up eating everything I needed to. But had no intention of such when I first woke up. After eating dinner, which I was upset enough about, my youth director, her husband, and their friend, started whispering about my meal plan and me and whatnot. I don't even know why it bothered me, but it did. I went into my room and just cried under the blanket. After like ten minutes, my youth director knocked on the door and asked to come in. She came in and did something I wasn't expecting but couldn't appreciate more.
SHE DID NOT YELL AT ME. She actually validated that my feelings were ok and laid down with me and hugged me and told me how proud she is. It was the first time in so long that I felt validated and that I wasn't yelled at or lectured while I was upset. It was so nice. And so different.
Normally after a day like today I would plan to not eat tomorrow, but I have no plan of the sort. I have no want to hurt myself tonight. My feelings are okay. They mean something. It is possible to be understood.
I don't know what I would do with the support of my youth director and her family. She is more than my youth director, she's my friend. That friendship means the world to me.
Who in your life gives you the validation that you need?
Stay Strong
xo Aria
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