It's 6:30 AM and I am under a blanket. Another sleepless night under my eyes. I don't remember most of the night. Somewhere I got lost. All I know is that I've been crying and I didn't close my eyes. I remember contemplating ending it all. And I remember screaming through the tears how much I hate life. This blanket fort isn't full of children laughing or a group of girls laughing. My blanket fort was made just to make me invisible. Invisible to the outside world. Invisible in my head. I didn't want to die, just to take a break. From school, from stress, from life. But as I was reminded today I can't. I'm not allowed to just get my GED. The weeks where I'm too sick for school are the easiest weeks for recovery. But nobody understands. They don't get that I just want to disappear for a little while. And not have to worry. Starry nights are wonderful but I don't like being up to view it change to sunlight. One day my blanket forts will be under a starry sky. And I will enjoy it. For now I just want somebody to let me do what I need to in order to avoid these forts.
Stay Strong
xo Aria
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